Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason. Big Liar, Big Lawyer, Big Dilemma.

It is Remembrance Day Long Weekend in Canada and I am making most of the time alone in this house. This is my fourth movie today.  I started with Keira Knightly’s and spine-tingling Matthew Macfadyen’s Pride and Prejudice.  Mulan II followed. The Thomas Crown Affair proceeded.

The movie is paused at the moment, I have chosen to watch it with the quiz. Questions are inserted in between scenes and I have to select amongst choices. Q3: How does men in tuxedos make you feel?

1. Claustrophobic – formality is not your thing
2. Hot under the collar
3. Indifferent – you’re only after what is under the clothes

My answer is B. Men who go to big wig affairs are hot! J

And oh, I could hear my own laughter and screams reverberating my four walls! And I am only 5 mins into the movie. I am loving it! Back to the movie.

Oh my God! I am so feeling for Bridget, no I take that back. I feel for the audience of Bridget! Oh My God! I am ready to crawl into that huge crack of the earth I am standing on and never to come up again for 10 years for shame of assumption!

Bridget mad because bf Mark Darcy did not talk to her on the formal party. Bridget expecting a proposal from Darcy just bec her bestfriend (wife to friend of Darcy’s) was proposed to the same party years before. Expectations! Assumptions! Dreadful!

Bridget:                        “Oh BTW if you had asked me tonight, I would have said NO.”

Darcy (stumped):            “Asked you what?” 

Kaulaw!

Now, I really do wish blogs can record noises, for I have a hankering for it now! I love Bridget Jones! I have actually done the staring at a beautiful, sleeping man kinda thing, and by God it can be addictive! I would certainly love to be in BJ’s shoes, to be staring at a hot, beautiful, slumbering human rights lawyers any day of the week for sure! J

Skiing

Tried it once, and I think got enough of it to last me a lifetime. And BJ’s nodding her head in agreement with my sentiments.

Oh Mr. Darcy!

He will always be beautiful in my eyes! He can not do anything wrong in my very questionable opinion!

I like Bridget because I am sometimes her.

I am still thinking of all the embarrassing things I did last year, and oh the year before that.  If I were an ostrich, I would still have my head burrowed in the dunes! The stupid mistakes, the many if-only-I-can-undo-delete faux pas.  The only saving grace, is this line I have read somewhere: If you haven’t been embarrassed lately, you haven’t lived lately.

There, there. Hence since I would like to live my life to the fullest, I should expect more excruciating, painful blunders in the future. Cheers to blunders! 

You teach the people around you how to treat you.

Succint, but oh so true.

The boot.

In the last couple of years, it has evolved into the now very popular, very sophisticated pointy toes. It elevates the woman into a pedestal of almost irrelevant stature, well at least in her vertical pursuits anyways.

I have currently 3 pairs, each representing the various heights with the ankle as the reference point.  Or each pair could be in description of the shapes of the toes. Ankle-wise, they are the mid calf, the knee-high, and the knee-high plus an extra inch of leather (or maybe pseudo/faux/synthetic leather).  Manufacturing boots to fit petite to plus size feet must be real hard.  And I clearly got a pair that overshot my needs.  Worn underneath the pants, they quite nicely manage to show off their best assets. Worn naked, they show crinkles and wrinkles and emboldens the fact of the matter that they have excess length of fabric to deal with.

To my deepest shame (not really!), I gave in to temptation this afternoon making my rounds at the once famed largest mall in the whole wide world.  And got my third pair, the perfect knee-high.  And fresh from the mall, it remains pristine and unworn. Yet. I might wear to church tomorrow if I get up early enough to attend services. New boots, take to church, longer boot life span. J

My mid-calf boot. My trusted friend. Because it was surprisingly from Wal-Mart, it was deliciously cheap. Well, cheaper. J When we are talking boots, my friends, some moolah has to be dropped and shown to the door of the cash registers. And this pair takes me to anywhere. When my spirit is down and needs some lifting, this pair does the job. And these shoes have been tapped for that very specific purpose in more times than I want to remember and can remember. J They have paid for themselves many times over and they still are working.

Toe-wise, I have the tapered squarish tip, the narrower version of the first one, and lastly the very pointy, witchy shoes. My newest acquisition would fit right into the Halloween season. Who knew witchy shoes would somehow be viewed as sexy?

Use-wise, the ultra-long pair was worn probably in 3 parties. Cost of shoes divided by number of patronage, it is a very expensive pair. The Wal-Mart boots are awesome in this department. Very user friendly. And the fact that they don’t cost as much somehow always convinced my feet to wear them often. Which should also be the case of the extra-long pair. I am hoping the newest addition would encourage the feet to get into the party boots more often and stop being such reverse-snobs!

Which brings me to a point. Memo to self: Boots should be worn. Forget the price tags. Their reason for being is to receive socked feet. And making the woman, the feet belong to, feel sexy and worthy. I know, very incongruent conclusion, but this view has rhyme and reason (probably not!).

Ah… but I forgot another pair of boots, my very first pair. The soles are elevated in all areas probably an inch from the ground. Platform shoes, they are called. And as sexy as a geriatric trying to interest a 20 yo hottie by batting the lashes. They would look as great on a 12 yo kid too! J They are perfect for walking in the knee-high depth of snow for sure, and could withstand splashes of mud too. They are kid-proof, child-friendly, almost-contraceptive and yes, kinda frumpy.

And in my own definition, for a pair to be called boots should be that pair that supports the arch that is formed when the toes are dipped forward and the heels are settled backwards, this momentum suspended and maintained by materials of leather, wood, and rubber. All this of course connives in a way to achieve a feeling of elegance by the lucky woman wearing the boots.

And that is my piece about THE boot.

I was looking after the kids Friday night and happened to look outside. Snow is falling. Finally, I could see real evidence of the cold. I sometimes feel tricked when the wind is whipping and when I step outside, body warmth could just dissipate real quick. I used to associate wind in the Philippines as something that is refreshing and a respite from stifling heat. I used to snort when I see pictures of Filipinos abroad. What is up with the winter gear when clearly no snow is within sight. Now I know better.

So I guess the kids will get their snowy trick or treating parade afterall. I really am hoping though that it would still heat up quite nicely and melt the snow away.  I dont want to think of the other very possible ahmmm possibility. ;-) That snow is here to stay.

I blog. I lag.  I lag, I blog.

Yesterday and weeks before that I lagged. Now I blog.

Absence in blogging means for me not enough time (baloney! If I have time to watch endless stream of TV shows, I should have time to blog!).

It also means I am waiting for something of significance to blog about (huge baloney too!  I blog about anything of huge insignificance as the falling of leaves, the balding of trees in Alberta since the entry of Winter, aka as Fall.)

I do mean to blog as much. But blogging for me should not feel like homework. It is afterall the exit and flow of my artistic side, and for the people who know me intimately, I am as artistic as Imelda is without shoes. I blog when I feel like it. This is my hedonistic expression.  This is as much pleasure as I allow myself without banging someone's head. :-)

But I do need to get out of the house now. I just calculated my new gym membership and it doesn't look very cheap! To fully exact its worth, I need to show my sorry ass at the gym 3 or more times in a week! Sometimes I feel I am too hard on myself, especially so after I signed that contract.

To gym or not to gym, is an expensive concept to gnaw on. Ciao peeps.

Mr. Darcy:     How are you this evening, my dear?

Lizzie:           Very well.  Only I wish you would not call me "my dear."

Mr. Darcy:     Why?

Lizzie:           Because it's what my father always calls my mother when he is cross about something.

Mr. Darcy:     What endearments am I allowed?

Lizzie:           Well, let me think.  Lizzie, for everyday.  My pearl on Sundays. And Goddess Divine but only on very special occasions.

Mr. Darcy:     And what shall I call you when I am cross? "Mrs. Darcy?" Lizzie:           No.  No.  You may only call me Mrs. Darcy  when are                completely, and perfectly and incandescently happy.

Mr. Darcy:      (kissing Lizzie) And how are you this evening Mrs. Darcy, Mrs.Darcy, Mrs. Darcy.

Again, I was glad I did not listen to any details on the reviews of the newest movie interpretation of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. I just heard generally nice comments on it and not enough to ruin my personal reactions to the movie without prejudice. J

Friday on the long Thanksgiving weekend in Canada found me scrambling over my employers' near hundred dvds of great movies. I had my hand on Pride and Prejudice when I asked her which movie should I watch. She said without missing a beat, Pride and Prejudice! Hehehhehe… we shall soon see.

And I did not even realize the 2 hours and half I have spent salivating on Matthew Macfadyen! What is it about taciturn men and their moneyed background? Can there be a more delightful prospect than the combination of danger and power? Hahahahah…. Keira Knightly commented on the movie as such it being such a romantic fairy tale and so intertwined with realistic details that makes it so popular then and until now, 200 hundred years after its conception on paper.

Keira Knightly, as Keira Knight the real person, is swept by the beauty of the story, yet also acknowledges that it is more a fantastic fairy tale than anything else. And I believe she represents a huge percentage of the young 20s-30s populace, and that includes me. Nice and whimsical and probably will happen to some very few people, but not to me.  Most unmarried women of today realize that knights in polished armor are far in between, so far in between sometimes, that it is quite possible a few of us single ladies miss their appearance in our lives entirely.

And because of these knights' scarcity, they sometimes seem to be urban legends of sorts. And let's admit it, ladies, sometimes we are so self-sufficient that we don't really need them anyways! J  But I do wonder (a lot of times) if this self-sufficiency alienates our knights away indefinitely? I know quite a few savvy ladies who on usual days are perfectly self-sufficient and yet take on roles of mistresses-in-distress when they see a potential knight lurking around! One day, these ladies are adequate, next day, they become conveniently needy!  It does entertain me to no end!

And yes, I am open to the idea that to be without a man is lonely. I feel that something is amiss without a man on my side. And this coming from me, is really an honest admission.  I have a friend who purports that she feels inadequate and incomplete without a man, and I do feel for her. I understand her sentiments. I think when one lady has been with a man, to be without one is ahmmm different. And maybe lonely.

But tread wisely, we must. We ladies, can have our pick from men. And they have the same privilege as we do. Some of us want to be involved for the lasting time frames, and some of us for the splash of momentary flings.  Some of our current partners want one thing and we want another. Either way, some hopes will be dashed, and some will be fulfilled beyond wildest imagination. Most of us will harbor unseen deep wounds only time could heal. Such is life.

Am I glad there are movies adapted from great books as Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice for they provide fabulous visual imitations of what is yet to come (or not)! Thank God for movies for they take us to our most favorite places in the world to escape from our sometimes humdrum shadow of an existence. 

When I mentioned to my good friend several months past that I wanted to go back to studying and make a real, real huge effort into burning the midnight candle, she laughed out loud. I was miffed. I wanted an explanation, and admittedly I felt slapped in the face. I know her very well that she would probably be one of the first people to jump up and down when she hears of my success later. So, I deduce she was laughing at the burning the midnight candle part. And I really do not blame her at all.  My studying pattern is not at all stellar…and she has been a witness to that too. But I get by! Just ask the other Grace (japan!)!

And I am now doing it again. My TOEFL reviewer is mocking me in the face. It is screaming and wanting attention. My eyes are glued to the TV.  Watching people lose weight, going under the knife, and what not to wear are a tad bit too much of a temptation for me. My huge reminder saying “TV is an option, turn it off” might as well not be plastered on my wall.

And written plans. I need to stick to them. Today I wanted to meet the volunteer coordinator in an elderly home and ask details about volunteering. My fear? Parking. But I cured that. Today after I dropped off the kids, I went to the place and surveyed parking spaces. I am quite sure I will be able to find a not-so-tight spot somewhere. Why did I not grab the opportunity to meet the coordinator, you may say. Because I didn’t have make up on and my hair was having a fit this morning. I wanted my best foot forward before I proceed. I know, this is probably one of my weird quirks. I want to be my best all the time. I believe in making the best effort in every aspect of my life, so much so that it inhibits me from doing spontaneous things. But really.. I wanted to appear professional and that I was reliable.

Cam had a field trip to the Safety City today and had to be picked up from school. I parked at the end of the block. Kyle and I had to walk to pick C up and back. Poor K put his foot down and literally just sat on the grass not wanting to walk anymore. My cute little guy! So adorable.

On the drive back, I went off my usual longer route and took a road less traveled literally. And my supposed shorter route turned out to be longer. I think I turned left all too soon and had to make a turn around in the residential area and made my way back to my usual route. Oh well. Good thing my passengers are even more clueless than their driver! C's chatter about the field trip distracted him all the way which helped terribly.

I do feel very insecure with my parking. I already called my old Czech driving instructor to refresh my skills with, but he is out of town and will be in the area in November. Darn. My well meaning friends are saying not to sweat it, that all will come together eventually. I want immediate rather than eventually. I am considering asking my friends to teach me, but I don’t want to learn not-so-good tricks either. Driving is tricky in that the techniques I will learn should be the right ones. … because it is so difficult to unlearn the not-so-great tricks later on. I might call on another professional driver instructor (gasp!) and learn some more. There goes my cash again.

I will quit dilly-dallying and start on that disrespectful TOEFL reviewer now. Tata! 

I am going home in 90 days. My family would be complete when I return, if my Kuya and family would not embark on their own Down Under adventure two weeks from today. I am so excited to go home. I am so excited for my brother and his tiny family. It is the incongruence of things that is not very exciting! I am going home for Christmas, they are spending theirs in Australia.

But it will be fine. Space is imperative for growth. Roots are strengthened in challenging times. Wild winds will make our branches stronger. And with the internet, it is easy to be in touch when we want to.  We will be "in touch" in every sense of the phrase except for the actual touching.

I have so many things I want to do when I get back. I wanna see new curtains, maybe acquire a new cabinet. And take my mom to the parlor for a facial. I miss dyeing her grey hair, that I want to do too. Go shirt shopping with Papa and maybe throw in cool shorts too. Pamper the parents for a bit.   My parents never ever went out of their way to buy something nice for themselves. It has always been, and I suspect, always will be, all about us the children.  I want this first trip home a tribute to the most wonderful parents in the whole wide world!

And maybe go whiteriver rafting again!

My Wishlist
1- Laptop
2- A boylet
3- Trip to Europe
4- To Bungee jump
5- To Skydive
6- To Paraglide (well, almost anyways!)
7- A 26- inch waistline (**wit-wiw**)
8- Steady weight at 103 lbs. (**more wit-wiw**)
9- A Trip Home
10- A solid, lucrative job

My wishlist. A list that really was just a wish list, the type that one just dreams of deep into Lala-land. In a perfect world I would achieve them all. Well I guess my world is more perfect that I expected.  I expect more out of life, so maybe this is the reason I get more? J

1. My laptop, check. My portable computer celebrated its first year of my company last June. Lucky computer! Hahahha
2. My boylet, check. A year and half ago he came and went. He came back for a bit sometime Christmastime, and I said my goodbyes (well, kinda mutual) last March.
3. Trip to Europe, will be checked. I will accompany my employers to Germany sometime summer 2007. Europe, here I come! So excited!

4. Bungee jumping, not checked. I am having doubts on this one. Somehow I know I would not willingly let go of control and just free fall!
5. Sky diving, not checked. Same reasoning as previous. I think I might do it, only after I totally humiliate myself by either throwing up or pissing in my pants, or both.
6. Paragliding, not checked. This I think I could do, tandem.

7. Now about that 26-in waistline. Hmm… some days I have it, so checked. I just eat too much salt and I retain water.
8. 103 weight. More like 108-111. I did gain some nice padding on the chest area! J hahahaha… so I guess it is welcome gain!
9. Trip home, checked! I am going home! I will be cruising above the Pacific Ocean at thousands of feet up high, amongst the clouds and higher. Will be in my tropical home Dec 19 – Jan 9.
10. Solid, lucrative job, checked. For a nanny, I am doing more than fine! Solid, yes. Lucrative, yes. Well… for this job title anyways! Can’t complain really! J

Seven out of ten (7/10) score is not bad at all. It validates my theory and Jack Canfield’s (Chicken Soup for the Soul author): what is written down can be measured. And so it goes. Make that list, my dearest friend N! Wipe those tears and suck it up. And map out your life. Just do it. J Been there, I know it is crappy. But this too shall pass. This life lesson is very important, and we have more to gain than lose in this game! Enjoy the ride, and hold on! Keep the faith! Am rooting for you here! 

I want to throw a party for myself! A pity party. Singles, single moms, to-be separated moms, all welcome. Happily married and in thriving relationships friends need not come. And oh, bring pics of the happier times, we’ll talk about those over alcohol (preferrably tequila) and let us shed gallons of lacrimal fluid together, shall we?

I went to friendster.com and voyeured on old friends’ profiles. Man oh man. Asking for punishment is what it is for singletons like myself. It is like self-flagellation, willing act of rubbing salt on open wound kinda thing. Gallery upon gallery of pictures of family outings, babies! Fabulous travels, babies! Parties, babies! Husbands, babies! Waaah! Enough already.  I can totally empathize with Lisa Loeb and her show No. 1 Single. “Being single is my next credit?”

Waiting for the right person. Waiting for the right moment. Waiting for the right family background. Waiting for the right attitude. And yes, even waiting for the right educational background. Waiting for the perfect sunset.  And then it happens, a person walks in, and attraction is broiling, searing hot. All the waiting, all the tick boxes of the list blur. Nothing really matters. What list? What educational background? Oh, that list? What list? J

And sometimes (well most of the times), the broiling, searing heat flips over, and things get ugly. Feelings unreciprocated, egos trampled, expectations unreached. Self-doubting almost always make an appearance…. And sometimes only time can shoo it away.

So I will throw a party. Some of my dearest friends will definitely be there. They have RSVPed already even if I am yet to give away that invite. And some of my most beloved cohorts can’t come, because they can’t. They are happy enough to be in relationships. They just don’t make the cut. Pun intended.