I have been volunteering at the old peoples' home for 3 SUndays now and I dont think I enjoy it too much. I mean, I do not look forward going to "work on Sundays. And since this is pro-bono work. I think the least I should feel is enthusiasm to be in that place at that time.  Yehey. I don't. Can I be human and say, I near hate it?

I thought it would be a place of wisdom, a place of contentment. It is that, and more. I do not have anything bad to say about them, and maybe this stint is making me realize that much as I imagined myself to be happy and enthusiastic, I am just not.  Maybe I am just not the elderly-type kinda gal. Canada is letting me stay because I looked/looking after her very young constituents. I have paid my dues and I can do whatever I want soon when the permanent residence becomes final.  And I now know, I might not enjoy being around with older adults in their waning years.  I mean, not as much as I enjoy working with the younger members of society.

And breaking up with the commitment.  It is not something I am looking forward of doing. Hahay. It is so hard to be so upright and do the right thing when there is a very easy way out..... the vanishing act.  When someone vanished on me once, I promised not to do that same thing to another human.  I want to do the right thing, but  is it ever a hard thing to do! I feel like such a bad person. What do I say?  SHould I write it down? Do I ask for a  leave and promise to come back at a later time... when I don't really mean it? WHat?